Wednesday 29th of January-RS Virus Day 5

The doctors felt optimistic today. They wanted the staff to take James out from the plastic oxygenated hood and try and support him with a cone instead. Elna was the main caring nurse for James that morning. She is sweet, humble and have a sense of humour I like, The other day she painted red flowers on James´s “curtains”. Because I joked and said he could do with curtains with flowers on them instead of plain white ones.
We took him out from the hood where he had 10l of oxygen support. We had to put the cone on full speed on 15l and I could see how he went lower and lower in saturation. He was just above 60% for the most of the time. Elna wanted him to stay outside the hood for 2hours to see how it developed. I was negative and thought if I had not gone higher in saturation in 30 minutes no miracles would happen later either. I started to feel worried about James, he started to get anxious but I have all trust in the staff up here. So I bit my tongue for a while. Anyways he was back in his hood again, he was back camping again ;o). The doctor Petru who was a new doctor for us said they had been a bit too positive and they would now wait a couple of days to try again. I felt relieved. All I wanted was not to make James suffer more than he already had done. Of course it was not their intention either, nor in 67 or in 61. The staff down in 61 is naturally a wonderful staff and excellent in their line of care. Keep in mind, James belongs on the cardiology ward 67 and on 61 don´t all of them have experience in heart children. They are specialised in infections. So I absolutely don’t blame some of the staffs for being insecure, they had done an admirable job when he was there. But as I mum it makes me feel anxious when there is not heart expertise around at all times.
When the evening came I was exhausted. Blimey, I ate way too much chocolate; I will gain 30 pounds before we are out from here. Nigel offered me to go home and he could stay. I missed the children at home very much. But I could not leave James. Naturally I now Nigel is just as capable as me in James´s care. First of all I am the one mainly caring for James of course since Nigel works, James had been very ill and I would not be able to relax going home anyways, I would still be in the hospital in my thoughts. I did not want to disappoint the boys. I pleaded to Nigel to bring them over the following day instead. He promised :o).