It was a long time ago I wrote on the blog. Life is flying away! James is doing "fine" at least he has not needed to be hospitalised. Fine means heart wise, which we are greatly grateful for!!! Despite that James has been ill with virus infections since late October. Everything from a temperature, vomiting to right left and centre (so he needs to be connected up with drip feeding). not feeling like eating, runny nose, eye infection, stomach flu, the flu with coughs it has just been going on like a train with some small stops with some day then it is on again. Poor little man, I feel so for him.!!Wow, I have been outside this week!! Went to the hospital it felt like a luxury holiday, I had a chat with the wonderful staff, some hugging :O) had a laugh, showed off James and James had LOTS of attention, of course and he enjoyed it :O)!! Except for this week I have been in the house 5 weeks on the trot with sick children. First Elliott and I came down with the stomach flu, Nigel, Mårten, James and Timothy started as well, we were 6 ill at the same time. Luckily it came in different degrees, Elliott and I were the worst, James LUCKILY only came down with the Trotsky's, a bit ironic but lovely he did not throw up at the time since he would at 99% been hospitalised. It started at the weekend and Timothy was home all the next week, went back to school the following Monday, in the evening he had high fever and coughing! The the regular flu started going around among us. Prior to the flu's I went in with James to the hospital since he was acting funny. James was very very tired, slept almost all days and when he was up he hardly had the strength to sit up, he leaned down on the floor whilst sitting up to rest his head on the floor. He scared the living life out of us! His colour was fine except for his feet were very blue and cold as ice :O( he was not swollen in his face or anything, but it was the very first time we were scared that anything was wrong with his heart. James had been like this for 4-5 days and not had the strength to eat so I went in to the hospital for a checkup. Dr Higgins checked James out and thankfully could not find anything specific. Guess what happened the next day?? James was himself again, skipping around like a chimpanzee on his bum, eating like a horse and had a big grin on his face, like; "I fooled you, ha ha ha ha" ;O)!!I am a happy, bouncy, humorous and outgoing person (if I can say so myself ;O). I have gone through ridiculously much in my young life. Some traumatic periods and I have dealt with it. Last year in the autumn I became very low and depressed. You can only take so much in your life until the brain and body panic brakes. Something happened in my life (not in my family) which made me deeply, shocked, disappointed and unhappy. When this happened everything else started to roll up, the trauma with almost loosing James, operations, past bad experiences, my life situation and being at home many times isolated because James is vomiting left right and centre. I slammed into the wall, basically. Total shutdown (as much as you can when you have many children, luckily I have them then I have to go on).Last year a woman interviewed me for chronicle about sick children, so yes it was about James :O). She asked me a question. After going through everything about our family, my darling husbands music hobby etc, she asked me; "but what are you doing for yourself
Malin"? I did not know what to answer, speechless and I felt rather stupid and I thought a long time after, yes what am I doing for just myself?? I have been doing ceramics which I loved and had some talent for, sculptures that is. But I had to stop when I divorced years ago. I had planned to start it up again when we extend garage and have a ceramic studio. But I have been thinking about it, how expensive it is, the mess etc etc not felt so ecstatic about it. Then I had contact with a friend, we do not talk often but now and then. She is one clever business woman with her own company, very ambitious and great at what she does. She is a photographer. She gave me a link to her website and it greatly inspired me. I thought, blimey I have taken thousands of photos of the children over the years but never ever thought photography. We have a Nikon D80 a SLR camera, so I thought why have I never thought of it before????????? I have not been able to take many portraits yet due to bad weather :O(. But there is so much more (even if a dream now of a photo studio where I can take portraits of manly children in the future as maybe a
side business), well Idream ;O). There is so much to learn and you never stop learning. I do not have a portfolio yet, I am just a beginner but here is my profile on
Fotosidan.
se http://www.fotosidan.se/member/view.htm?ID=135261 The portraits of the children are many taken before my interest took place some good and some just on my albums because I like them even if they are not technically good.
Sometimes someone can ask you a question and they do not realize how important it became to you, I thanked the reporter through an email, I have finally found something for myself!! Sometimes the children are involved as well in front of the camera or as assistants throwing water :O).I am feeling a bit better now thankfully both for me and my family. Things happens in life. You can have a friend for many many years and suddenly you realize the friend was not as keen on the friendship as you were. It is true as it says, when you go through horrible times you know who your true friends are. When James was born was definitely one of them. Sometimes you think the world of people and then suddenly something happens and you realise how little you really knew them. I am an honest person and I expect others to be honest back. It is horrible when people say yes but they do not really mean it and then you have to pay the price for it, people that just sweep things under the carpet, acting horribly as adults and then do not apologise and acting like it is raining. What is that all about?????? Life is too short for such nonsense!! When I have been feeling very low it has not only been about myself of course, lots of worries and empathy about my closest ones, how things affects them. I have been very angry about the waist of life and precious time, some people are so spoiled and have the audacity to put heavy load on those that are already crumbling. Nigel has a high working position with all the stress, we have 7 children and James. We have our own shared bit.Now over to more fun things in life! GREAT FRIENDS!! Family Merediths are coming over from England in 8 weeks for nine days! WOOHOOOO!!! Andy will only be served Broccoli and chocolate milk with Vodka ;O)!! No seriously it will be lovely we have a great laugh together. I am so happy I have found a true girlfriend (Lorraine), she is my age and married to an "old git" as well ;O) so we have lots in common and lots of fun. Their sweeties Nicola and Ryan are coming as well and the children and we are looking forward to have them over as well. We have started to redecorate our bedroom. Nigel, James and I are sleeping in the sitting room just now :O).Life is disappointed sometimes, that is life, full of challenges, but when someone treats you bad you have to keep your head high. It is a great shame, some people want to waste precious life and time that will never come back again.James is having his operation in May (at least how it is planned), I am not looking forward to it. I find it much harder now when James is older and more aware of things happening around him. It will mean quite some time in hospital, between 4-6 weeks is counted for, if we are unlucky, monthssss it can take. But there are months left, I worry two weeks before then I take it as it comes.James says his first words; lamp, tack (thank you) bye bye, nose. Wonderful!!!This is it for now, not the most cheerful blog post I have written, but facts, how it should be I am not pretending everything is fine when it is not, but it could have been worse. After all we are the lucky ones, we have James with us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
