Saturday 1th of February- RS-virus -Day 8

I did not sleep much. James was worried during the night, with a stuffy chest that needed inhalations and tummy pain. I was more awake than asleep. The morning started with him needing an inhalation. They took a flem test to check yet again test for RS-virus infection. It turned out negative. The doctor arrived at elevenish. Most of you know we have planned for James being christening at Easter in England. Well it would have been Easter if he had his operation done. We planned to drive naturally, even if we had heard from the doctor it was ok for him to go by plan we would not risk it anyways. I had not brought up the christening with Elisabeth, we would do that when the operation was done and when James was stable. We now have GPS which includes maps from throughout Europe. The best thing about it is that we can just press the SOS button and it will show us the closest way to a Hospital from where we were. Anyways I had been complaining a bit disappointed about it, of course. That it now would be off until the operation is done. Apparently some staff member had not really listened to what I had said but made assumptions about it and brought it up with the Doctor, instead of with me. Dr Eva did the rounds today and she came in. I greeted her because I had met her up in ICU before. She was the one who did the ultrasounds on James at that point. She started with saying, “James needs an operation” My heart almost stopped and I had the time to think, oh blimey they really think he is more sick than I imagined, he is in danger or they would not do an operation now. My eyes almost popped out and I asked “NOW”? She replied with now when he is healthy again. I thought “DUH, I have known that for months, what is she on about?” She said “I have heard you are planning to go England” I said “yes, so?” She said James can´t manage to fly how he is now” I said I know and we have never considered flying we will go by car, she and staff had assumed even if I had said we would have DRIVEN to England. She continued with “James needs his operation first” and I replied with “yes of course, we would naturally not go until after the second operation as planned!!!”. She said “oh, good”. I thought to myself, what in Gordon Ramsey is this????!!!! After, she asked if we had asthma in the families etc. She said when James has been well for a week they will call him in for an operation. That was really good news. Dr Eva ordinated Pulmicort inhalations and Betapred tablets, both cortisone medicines, to finally actually treat his flemmy airways. Good news to me/us. But have staff going behind my/our back assuming things and go over my head and talk to a doctor made me fume for the rest of the day. I would have asked what the F is up straight away to Eva if she had not startled me. I was gobsmacked!
T, M, E, S, Nigel and Mum and Dad came over and stayed to the afternoon. It was really nice considering, both Nigel and I are mental tired wrecks. The worrying about James takes a lot of energy from us. Adding on that, there was someone in the staff who thought we would put our precious boy at risk! It was so humiliating it was what made me fume. I have had him in my arms dying and they assume I would put him at risk??. I would walk through fire for any of our children.
James was still stuffy during the day and he stayed put with the extra oxygen. His tummy was a bit better and he managed himself better now. My friend Karin was sweet enough to come around for some chitchat. We had a nice girl gossip and mummy serious talk before she went back home to her husband who had cooked a lovely meal for them. Meanwhile she was with me, food arrived which I had ordered together with the staff. Noodles with chicken, lovely!! Ingrid, James assistant nurse for the evening, brought it in on a tray and she had added milk and a chocolate pudding. How sweet!!!! I am really fond of the staff here and I trust them. I am a very open person and believe in straight conversations. That´s why I was so upset, it would have been so easy for this person/ persons to have checked with me, that I had no daft ideas that would have jeopardised our son!!
Evening came. I called Nigel and I said I would call back after “Pride and Prejudice” at 23.00. Well I fell asleep. I woke up at 00.30 by James´s horrible breathing, he needed inhalations. I started thinking of what had happened earlier the last day. I started fuming again. I started thinking of their ethics, morals, respect, common sense and their approach towards me. Fuming. I had to call poor Nigel, so I did. ´Nigel tried to calm me and said I could bring it up with Elisabeth. We hung up after kissi kissi and lovy lovy :o) But still fuming. I have emphasised before how it upsets me when staff don´t know how to approach the caretaker or caretaker´s parents with respect and common sense. It is my profession. The staffs have to consider, we are parents with very sick children, we are parents with a lot of worries and I am lucky. Before James I have had four babies, I have great confidence in being a mother. As I said before, hospital environment is my work area so it does not make me feel insecure. But what if I was a newly mum? What if this was my first baby? What if I was insecure in everything in the hospital and scared of what they were doing with my baby? What if I was very insecure in my role to the staff?? What if someone else will be treated in that shitty way? I was so fuming I could not sleep. I finally put on the TV and watched women who wanted breast implants on Ricky Lake show. James woke up several times of course and I could assist him and ask for inhalations. What a waste, so incredibly unnecessary!! Because someone coward was too afraid to ask a direct question to me and instead sent a doctor to point finger. Still fuming... I fell asleep again at 05.00.