Waiting for OP

Hardly slept anything last night. James is a bit worried during nights and I have a lot of pain at the moment. Probably the weather changes and it is cold outside. Nigel and I talked to about this summer. Maybe we can go away for a week to Italy with James and maybe the two oldest boys. Fun to have M and T with us aswell but then we need time alone, but then we dont have that alone with little James. If James is well enough to go, if we have managed the Dedication for James in England before, many ifs but so nice to talk about :o). Otherwise I am pretty low because i dont really LIVE I just WAIT. I wait for James operation. Maybe things will be a bit more normal than it has been uptil now. There will be many things still different but hopefully James will manage to eat by himself again so he does not have to have a peg fitted on his tummy, instead of a feeding tube.I am hoping for James to manage eat by himself but at the same time I am preparing myself for another operation for a peg. My way to cope is to prepare myself for the worst. Not very positive but my defence-mechanism :o). We have been a bit spoiled lately. James does not throw up six seven times a day anymore because of the feeding pump. There is a high risk of that starting again when he is supposed to try and eat by himself again. But we will take it as it comes. If he can manage fully by himself then it is wonderful, if not he needs help.
Talked to Nigel during working hours several times today. Him calling short times to have a break from work and stress off. Very nice :o) My gorgeous darling....

James and I took a walk to pick up Neville at daycare and meet up with the rest of the boys coming from school. James was happy as Larry smiling to left right and center enjoying the walk. He had a nap outside for the first time in the pram, right by the kitchen window. Neville were outside playing for a while. Do I need to say that James sleeps through everything? Some parents are whispering around their child when they are a sleep and they tell guests etc to keep their voices down. Makes it uncomfortable for everyone and is it not the relaxing that is the purpose, not tiptoeing? Blimey! I have never done such a thing. Take my advise it is a BIG mistake! You do yourself and the child a disfavour. James usually sleeps down stairs with all of us moving around, so have all my boys done as babies the first months, James sleeps when the children are playing etc so he does not wake easely .o). Then of course we dont allow screaming and running around on any circumstances :o)

Tonight we are having Cumberlands (thankyou Mum and Dad!), with mash, gravy, vegetables and cranberry saus. Yummy Yummy in my Tummy!!!! :oP