Monday the 29th of January- RS-virus Day 3

In the morning when James saturation dropped down to 53% without him being upset and anxious I became really anxious. I dropped for about 6 minutes when I asked them to call on a cardiologist; I became afraid something was really wrong. What I did not know was that the nurse called in Thomas who was at home to be called in to acute emergencies. We are talking severe heart problems etc. Poor man must have been on his bike going like crazy. He came rushing inside the room still in outer clothes and with his biking helmet in his hands. By then James saturation was up to 73% again. Thomas was probably not a happy chappy with all rights. Oh he never showed anything for me but hopefully gave the staff a lecture. I felt guilty even if I was not responsible. The staff should have called up to child ICU they always have doctors working at the spot. James had several panic attacks when his flam went too thick and they needed to suck him with an olive sucker. An olive you use outside the nose so they don’t have to put a tube down, so it makes it gentler. James had several real panic attacks where he screamed in panic and his saturation dropped down to 38-42%! His face went almost black as dark as it was from the lack of oxygen. His eyes were wide open and of course for the most part he was staring at me in panic. I tried to calm him the best I could, but it was impossible. When he started I gave him more oxygen from a cone as well. When he had his eight panic attacks that day it started to be too inhuman for me. Thankfully I am really calm and not insecure when it comes to treatments or it would have been too much for me to be in the room with him and would not be able to support him. Remember we were down in an infection ward. Not on the cardiology ward. They had contact at all times with the cardiologists and they were the ones who were responsible over James. A nurse from the ICU ward was called down, we had never met her before .I thought she worked on the ward 61 as we were on that day because I recognised her. Her phone called and she answered with ICU. I was really surprised. She stayed with James for a couple of hours through the worse part in the morning. I was really grateful and I felt safer. But James had an infection and could not go up to the cardiology ward just yet. It showed on some of the staff on the infection ward, and I don’t blame them. James dropped in saturation big time and for the staff it is easy feel insecure when you are used to a child who does not have a low saturation without being ill. Anyways after those times it started to feel like we were torturing James and inside of me I started to get angry. I wanted to protect him. I said I wanted them to contact the cardiologists and ask for sedative, something to slightly calm James so he did not need to be so affected by what was done to him and as well. So they did get an ordination from a cardiologist. But someone had to go up to child ICU and pick it up. Meanwhile the young nurse tried nervously to suck his nose again since his saturation started dropping. I said to her twice that James needs to be sedated first because the way he dropped when she tried to suck him was way lower than it was appropriate. The third time I told her she asked a assistant nurse to go up and fetch it for her. A fourth time and I think I would have taken the thing and started sucking her airways with it. I was fuming and just as fuming at Nigel because he did not say anything. He had seen it ones and by that time I had been there for 5-6 of those assessments. Finally he had his sedative and he could sleep for a little while. I felt really angry inside. The doctor ordered albumin for James (synthetic blood) to go in for two hours. After that they gave him blood. They wanted him to have more blood volume transport more oxygen around. During all of this the infection ward 61 doctor came inside the room to introduce himself. I think I wanted to know more of what was going on in the room. I did not like what he saw that is for sure, he introduced himself and said this is really intensive care treatment but ICU don’t want you up there because of the RS infection of course. That night staff asked when I would prefer to have him out by the nurse. They probably heard I had been a pain in the bum the other night ;o) I called on them at 21.30 because I started to be cross eyed. I stayed out in the room with James for 20 minutes, He was having a shot for blood thinning treatment and they needed to suck his nose a little. I could not relax until he was through all of it. I said goodnight and dropped to bed and slept like a rock. James had a good night as well. Except for his tummy pains.