James has been playing with Oskar!!

We went off early today in the morning, walked down through town to the bakery, bought some rolls and then walked to see my friend Ida and her 9 months old son Oskar. We had a very nice chat, but time flied and it was time to walk back and pick up Neville at 14.00 :O(.

Last weekend Nigel started in the newly started Brassband ÖBB. It was two full working days of playing. I was home with 8 and tried to pull or scrape down the wallpaper from the walls so we can redecorate and paint. It was a nice weekend though, mostly because I saw Nigel being happy over the new band which keeps a very high standard and high standard pieces. It has always been his dream so I support it, of course. Nigel will continue in MBB as well though :O).

The whole weekend it snowed so the children had a blast in the snow and made a snow man. They rolled a gigantic snowball all the way from the playground and back to the house, where they realized we have slope up to the house. Malin the female hero wanted to help them out, blimey it was heavy!!!!!! To the childrens delight my big toe first became stuck under the huge snowball, it was impossible not to scream :O), then my little finger was trapped between the car and the gigantic snowball, was impossible not to scream. The children owed me big time!! ;O)

Frosty was soon up in the front yard, with a scarf and a carrot nose as he should have. Except for later Timothy and Mårten used another carrot for a willy, are you surprised not :O), after all they spend too much time with me ;O), hahahahaha.

Pooring down-James´s fourth vaccination this week

Nigel was home for a while in the morning and tried to sort out the winter tyres. James, Neville and I walked as usual 8.45 to dagis (daycare centre). Of course as soon as I put my head outside the door it started poring down. It was quite windy as well, a real miserable day. Poor Neville was soaked when we finally reached dagis. James had a blast, his tongue went in and out trying to catch the raindrops. The little tinker :O).

James has started to Say yes now, well as long as Daddy is not around, he refuses to say it, "I wont let him hear it because I know he wants to".

I walked quickly back home and snuggled up for a bit in the sofa. At 10.30 James and I was off again to the local Child nurse for James to be weighed and have a vaccination shot. James started complaining when he saw what she was preparing, a bit when he had the shot, but no crying being very upset, he is such a good boy :O)! Poor boy he is used to it. I thought he had lot a bit of weight but I was not sure.Going back home which is a fair walk I passed by Neville dagis on the way so went in and took him with me home again. Then it was 12.45, so we went home and I was deadbeat after the walk in the horrible weather. The big boys came home, Mårten, Elliott and Timothy.Timothy insisted on cooked tea, honestly it was a day they usually would have had to settle with sandwiches, porridge or cereals. "I said fine if you make the pancakes, with some help he did a marvelous job".

Yesterday Mårten and Colin made sausages with pasta. Since they enjoy it, wonderful for me :O). It is not like I sit down in the sofa and relaxes hahhahaha I run around like a headless hen fixing other things, see so the children don't hurt themselves during the cooking, give them tips and praise, making sure that James is not electrocuting himself or breaks anything, he is on the move now on his bum :O), I give one child an evil eye for him/her to behave, helping someone else with whatever. It is lots of fun though :O).

Today I ordered medicine for James and talked to Dr El Haddi. His Swedish is a bit hard to understand and he asked if it was OK to speak English, we've done that before and he prefers it anyways. He is a sweet, always with a big smile, humble doctor, the man who actually diagnosed James. So he is special to both Nigel and I.

My pappa called today from the Chemical tank (ship) he is working on, they are going back and forth to Germany and Holland for the moment so he is happy, closer to home for Christmas. I mentioned to him that the whole family is going for the Christmas concert this year and pappa asked if he could come and watch, so that will be very nice :O). Tickets are ordered and seats (yes a whole row:O) is reserved for us. We all have to see and hear Nigel play Ukulele!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gravy!! How will it be possible for me not to pee my knickers of laughter??? Anyways, I really look forward to it and it is going to be interesting since it is called "Christmas around the world". I love to see my gorgeous husband play, I am so proud of him :O)!! We soon have our own rockband in this house. Mårten and Elliott are jamming away together on bass (M) and Flugelhorn (E). Soon Timothy will start and play the drums and Colin keyboard. I am looking forward to it (yes I am nuts), to hear them play together.

Nigel is out by the cars again and all the children are sound asleep, WWEEEEIIIIHHH!! Because I am exhausted today, and a hot cup of proper English tea is calling :O). Ta ta...

Happy Birthday in Heaven Heartbrother!!-Vaccinations-Filip

We went to the hospital but first to the pharmacy to pick up James vaccination. Thankfully we have a lot of tax-payers in this country and a max cost you pay for medicine. James vaccination (for one a month for 6 times) cost 13.000kr!! Anyways, we were late because there were more people than I expected in the morning. James and I were greeted as royals as usual ;O). James was supposed to have two injections with the vaccine I picked up, for the RS-virus and another injection for Pneumonia. So three injections in total. I asked the nurse Birgitta nicely :O) if she thought it would be possible for James to have a sedative medicine so it was not so traumatising for him , three injections of painful vaccine is nothing to joke about. Birgitta went to ask a doctor, and it was just fine, I was very grateful!!! Dr El Haddi is the hero today :O). We went finally to Filip to give him his Teletubby James bought for him in England and we adults had a nice chat, Filips Mum and Dad and I of course. James was still groggy after the sedatives and he cried so Filip started crying, a chain reaction. Poor Filip and James. But then they played for a bit again.
In between I went to little Heartbrothers grave with a little flower,

James was sound a sleep in the pushchair. Many thoughts to Heartbrothers parent today!!! I had not seen his gravestone before since it takes some time to receive after the order, it is so BEAUTIFUL with a big heart cut out in it. I am so grateful I was able to meet Heartbrother, seeing his great big smile meant the world to me and still does!!! Ahh bless him, he will always have a special place in my heart, and his outstanding parents!!!

I went up to the ward again to have James cleared from any symptoms because of the sedative medicine and vaccines, off we went home to pick up brothers and sisters.

james was not so happy during the evening, he was in a lot of pain from the injections he had in both his legs.

Finally better from infection-Izabellas christening

James is starting to eat a bit again. Up to yesterday he was coughing a lot and the food bounced up again. James has been fed by the pump, whitch is pain in the neck now when he is moving around pulling everything including his tube attached to his tummy. I don´t blame him!
Today we went up early because James cousin Izabella was Christened today at 9.30. I was nervous that James would start vomiting on the way to the church.But he did fine, the minister and James held a good speech in church :O). Izabellas christening was beautiful. But for a minute I started thinking about those who wants to but never have their children Christened because something goes wrong and their children don't make it for some reason. I pushed those thoughts away quickly, this was a very happy day!
It was lovely to see my aunt Anki and all the other relatives and friends again, time goes to fast but hopefully I will see my aunt soon again.
My cousin Lina and I took photos of her twin daughters Nova,Vilda and James. Of course he could not keep his hands off for long ;O), it starts early, but then he was quite popular with the girls as well of course the little charmer.

November 3rd-Home-Emil & Sofias birthday-Nigel and I 2 years :O)

James was really bad on they way, home. He still did not have any fever but his eyes were really horribly infected and he vomited and coughed a lot. Poor little man :O). We arrived home at approx 3.00 in the morning. I was really worried for James and he did not sleep much.He sounded chesty and he vomited. But I could hear it was from his upper airways some of it anyways, we have been there before. He becomes totally clammed up and he has problems clearing it. So of course he stops eating whatsoever, if he eats some it bounces up again. I went with James to the hospital in the morning. Of course the red carpet was rolled out for him ;O).
The doctor confirmed it was upper airways, a massive eye infection and he said he is probably infected on his upper chest as well and there is a risk it will move down to his lower airways , so he prescribed James a horse dose of antibiotics.Poor little man I knew what it will do to his tummy :O(.
So the pharmacy was the next visit and then home. We went home and i started packing up Emil and Sofia's presents and started wrapping them up. At 16.00 they came home and could have them. They had a lovely watch each from Nana and Grandad and money from Nan. My mum had fixed bedding's for them, Bratz and Spiderman. We had a nice but a very tired evening, we would celebrate Emil and Sofia further the day after.

30/10-3/11 England

Time went fast as we knew it would. James and his brothers were able to spend some quality time with their Nana and Grandad and they had quality time with their grandchildren. Since they live in a different country it is not often they are able to see each other. It was the main reason why the children came with us, though it was supposed to be a shopping trip (for Christmas :O), to see Nana, our friends Lorraine and Andy and Mum and Dad. We knew though that we would have plenty of time alone with Mum and Dad around Christmas which we very much looked forward too.
James had already started eating badly before we left and it was purely out of precaution I packed James´s pump etc. James was whiny, poor little man. I checked his temperature many times and I was surprised it was normal.
Nan had an eye operation whilst we where there (the Thursday)and everything went fine, she is one tough lady thankfully :O). Her 92nd birthday was the day after (Friday) so we (after mad shopping waiting in traffic ques) had the opportunity to go over to congratulate her and see Uncle Les (Nigel´s uncle:O) and Kath as well. In he evening Mum and Dad were kind enough to babysit the children so we could have the possibility to spend an evening with our friends. It was the very first time we spent an evening away without the children, so it was lovely and about time :O).
We have gone through a lot and are still going through much, that is why I have contact with other mothers with heart children. Only they know how it is. Most of them say the same, they have all been a victim of others feelings and ignorance. Within and outside family. People who have no idea and never will know how it is for a heart child family. We all have different life experiences and how we look on life. Life is too short for us anyways, we have eight children to concentrate on (one with a CHD) and we never know when any of our tickets are up, in a matter of speaking. We could all have been wiped out in a car accident on our way from England. Forbidden thoughts for many, it will not happen, well it does happen and we don't take life for granted anymore, noone should, life is too short! We don't waste our lives fooling around with pathetic little things. We are grateful for every day we have with our children , yet again life is too SHORT! Nigel´s and my love conquers all bumps in our lives, thankfully :O).

The last evening in England Mum and Dad had prepared a lovely tea with Cumberlands and Yorkshire pudding, yummi :O). James was going worse and Istarted to feel very stressed for him. I knew we would drive for loooong hours back to Sweden, since we were travelling by day.

We did our packing, I put James to bed and i popped over to Lorraine to say sad good byes :O(, but see you soon again :O) whilst Nigel was packing the car. Yes I left my Project Manager with his project :O). I arrived back home at 23.00 and tried to go to sleep, but I could not sleep all night and I was worried about James he was not sounding to well and very chesty. I thought to my self "oh, my gravy" it will be a long car trip home and maybe passing by a hospital.

29th of October-Elliotts birthday-England-New Heart!!

Finally the day had arrived for our trip to England. The ones going; Nigel,Neville, Mårten, Colin, James and I.Originally it were only Nigel, James and I going by plane but it was so expensive we could rather take the car with more children to visit Nana and Grandad and so we could do some Christmas shopping!! We had celebrated Elliott the day before so he was not neglected ;O).
Nigel had of course to work so I was the one handling the packing for all the children, not to say the least James who could use his own truck ;O).

Every morning since we had left the hospital I gave a little pray that Filip would have his new heart. I opened Outlook and there was an email from another "heartchild mother". She wrote that she had been smsed that Filip had his new heart during that night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. What a happy day!! It was impossible to hold my tears back. I logged in to Filips homepage, but of course Malin had not had the time to update the website. I could not hold myself I had to ask how the prince was doing, so I called up Malin. Congratulating, happy crying and kisses to Filip from us.HE WAS DOING MARVEOUSLY!!! What a releif!!!! It was with a lot of happiness we went off in the car to England. The children and us had looked forward to it very much!!

We were on the road at 16.00. All the kids were great! Obviosuly, when we came to the bridge over to Denmark Neville asked if we were at Nana and Grandads now :O). James slept most of the way, watched Teletubbies and played with his toys. Colin and Mårten Played Nintendo DS and Neville was looking excited out the window. A wee stop in Holland. The kids were deeply asleep in the back. Nigel and I shifted driving. Of course I had to drive the last way through Belgium-France to Calaise. Blimming heck!! Straight on 150km and then straight again 80km etc. Mårten was a life saver who was sitiing the front with me , hahahha. He was jibbi jabbing as usual. Many lanes and very tight ones, I was happy when we reached the train for the Eurotunnel. We had to wait an hour for the next train and it was a good oppurtunity for another wee moment and nappy change :O).Colin and Neville were very excited going by car on a train.
It was now the next day about 04.00.

Heartcat 15th of October

Everything was fine with James and he could go home. Before we went home we popped in to Malin and Filip.We promised to come and see them soon, they have no idea how long it will take for Filip to have his new heart. It was with heavy steps I left Malin and Filip behind at the hospital. You wish you just could give them a heart so their lifes could proceed as normal at home, finally. They had been there since May.http://www.filip.s.dinstudio.se/

Heartcat 14th of October

Blimey, Mummy took me up and went straight to a warm bath. She scrubbed me with some strong soap spunge, then she dried me and put on this Emla cream on my hands (with Timothys help because Daddy was too out of it :O)and feet. It was 6.00 in the morning and I was gobsmacked!! Anyways it seemed to be an exciting day. Mummy took me out to the car, packed in all our things and we went off to the hospital after some cuddles with Daddy.

At the hospital we went in to our room and waited for the staff to give me some sedatives. When they arrived (they had made sure my dose was big enough)they gave me it and waited.
Mummy- We took out James to the x-ray unit in his cot 08.10. James was drunk talking and screaming on the way to the heratcat/x-eay unit. We had many giggles the staff and I. When we arrived Dr Olof and the other staff greeted us and I put James down on the"bed". A gave James a kiss on his forehead and said I love you and then his face was with the nurse who put a mask over his face. I held his hand and James started licking inside the mask and then he slept. I said thankyou and went out with the 67staff. Thankfully it i nothing that upsets me, leaving James with them totally sedated. I can relax, being my silly self. Otherwise I would have refused to go through the procedure without Nigel by my side. If it had been an emergency and I had for some reason had to be rushed to surgery, then it is a totaly different matter!

I went to 67 to have breakfast, watched tv and then went in to Malin and Filip.We had a very nice time.Filip is a real charmer, bless is heart.When it came to 11.00 I asked the staff (I had been told 2 hours totally)if it was normal for it to last, I started to be a little worried. They said it was ok and the time could be 12.00 before he was finnished.12.40 the call came and I rushed up to the preop unit.

James was sound asleep. I noticed the doctor had still not been able to put a needle in James´s hand he had to put it on his head. He had a heavy pressure on his groin where they had made the enterance by the catheter and the other place was his on his neck, but there they could put stitches. James was worried and moved around and he started leaking from the manchet in his groin. The nurse paniced and the ass nurse calmed her (blimey).
The nurse had probaly not worked there for long. Anyways we were there for about 3 hours.Some time after that James quickly pulled out the needle from his head and it looked like Stockholms bloodbath for a while, blood everywhere and some cleaning of James was needed.

Dr Sven came to give the results and everything was fine, no worries with high pressure or anyting!!!The the staff came and we rolled James cot back to his room. James quickly wanted to come out from his cot, so i put him in a push chair and we went in to Malin and Filip for a while. Malin blew soapbubbles again, wwweeehii James thought it was lot if fun!!

Later James stayed to entertain the staff whilst I popped down and bought something for me to have for tea.

James was doing fine for the rest of the evening.I knew we could go home again the next day.