September 23rd – Still grieving part 1

So incredibly grateful for every hour and day we still have our James. I`m so proud of our boy, he really is a fighter. I´m glad that we didn´t sit around for an ambulance - that would have been total disaster and a waste of minutes. Breathing arrest they could have handled- so would I have done but the closing of the neo duct the ambulance staff never would have diagnosed. 1 out of 20 doctors knew how to save his life. We are talking specialists here. The other 19 in the trauma room were scratching their heads. I was ready to pick him up if he arrested and to call an ambulance to meet us up, all to save time, time had never been so precious. It would have been disaster to have waited.... we were reassured of such a couple of days later.
The medication to keep the neo duct open was called prostavas. I had been thinking about that medication for a while. I knew when they induce labour they often give a hormone called pros taglines to start dilating. I wanted to know everything...I asked a nurse and poor her she was clueless...she had to get it confirmed from a colleague. Felt good to have figured it out by myself of course but mostly I was relieved to know what they were pumping into our baby.
Sweet Per Westrin came in to talk to us for a bit. There was something else that had been on my mind. He still had the scent of it, to me very strong. I asked if James´s acetonic breath at home was one of the signs of him being toxinated (they can have that during fever as well). Per turned very quiet just stared at me for a while. Then he said, “wow you know not many can sense it”. I must have looked like a question mark. He continued and said “only 25% can feel that special scent”. I was gobsmacked! When the boys have a fever they only need to get close to me. I can smell they have fever, obviously the scent wasn´t as strong as with James. I thought aha, that´s why Nigel couldn´t feel the smell I was complaining about. Well you certainly learn something new every day.