Finally writing again :o)

Yes, finally writing again. Yes, we are home since weeks back.
Everything went surprisingly well after intensive care. Thanks to James :o) our pride and joy (among many).
I have always been very grateful for having healthy babies. I have never been one of those who take it for granted. I remember saying to Nigel many times, "what if he is not healthy"? "I have been giving birth to four healthy boys my luck should be running out any time soon". Nigels reply? "Then we deal with it". I am very grateful for our baby and Im the luckiest Mum in the world :o) Four times i have been going home with babies not knowing what I know today. There are parents living with their babies in the hospitals praying for their lives, today I know how that feels. I can see a Mum come out from a room with swollen red eyes and I can think to myself.; I know how it is, I know what you are probably going through. I wish I could take your worries away. We live with: anxiety, frustration, pain, hope, joy, happiness and sorrow. All piled up together just spinning around like a wheel.
James is doing very well medically and he is finally gaining weight!!!! Which has been our main concern the last weeks. He is on drip feed 24-7 and he takes the breast when he wants to.
Last week we went to the hospital because he had pulled out his feeding tube again (i now put it down myself to spare some trips to the hospital). He had 38 celsius in temperature. If he looses too much fluid his blood gets thicker. Despite for the obvious problems with thicker blood it always affects the temporary shunt he has which can start to malfunction. So instead of being in the hospital for 30 min James, Neville and I spent 5,5hours in the hospital. X-rays, bloodtests etc etc. Everyting was fine so we could gratefully go back home again :o)
Yesterday James started coughing. No surprise really. There is a massive virus going around now including in our family. This morning his coughing was worse. Deep inside of me I started worrying. I could hear the slime was high up in the airways so their was no real concern. I put my ear to his chest yesterday to listen (for the first time) and I was amazed :o) No doubt our baby has a special heart and we are supposed to tell if he need to see a doctor else where. I could clearly hear the flow in the shunt, a blow-sound, almost a mechanicly sound. Loud and clear :o) so beautiful... Anyways, James was going to see his doctor Peter Munkhammar today for a scan. Peter is a very nice doctor and fun. Just what i need. Not a doctor full of himself. I have been in contact with doctors because of my pain for many years now. So im confident around doctors I dont take nonsense from and it is a plus if they have big sense of homour like me :o) But most importantly he is very good with James. James turned really angry when Peter started to do a scan on him. He didnt want him to rub a camera around on his chest. Our fiesty son :o) started jabbing after the doppler and "hitting" his doctor and pushing his hand back and forth. Ha ha ha ha. Well, it ended with me having to hold his little hands which didnt make the little man happier :o( It has to be done one way or another. No escape.
I learned his next operation might be already in December :o( Hopefully he wont be in hospital around Christmas which would mean I cant be with the other kids around Christmas!